I don't imagine anyone was actually scanning the interwebs, trying desperately
to find my tufty red hat and striped scarf...but if you were, I can now be found


HERE

miss some of y'all terribly.

So, okay.

I was out having lunch with two buds from Kingston this afternoon, and as is my particular wont, I was going on about the quality
of the food/service; what they did wrong, how they could do better, what they didn't think of doing, so on and so forth.

Suddenly, one of my charming friends interrupted my rant to say:

"You know, you should just get a blog Adrienne so you can write all these opinions down,
and then we wouldn't have to hear them anymore".

*Laughs*

Obviously, I pointed out that I already had a blog, one that was threatening to disappear into obscurity because of my ceaseless attempts to avoid writing in it - slash - thinking about my life in any real way - slash - realizing how happy or unhappy I really might be at the moment.

But what he had actually meant was a blog where I recorded my thoughts about restaurants and food and etc. I guess sort of like this site, which is maintained by Matt (of 146 Toronto street fame) and which I personally cannot get enough of.

Dunno if I'd go so far as to generate a whole new journal...maybe...

Anyways, I figured I'd try one out...but you know what the hilarious thing is? Just writing this introduction has sort of tired me out.
Anyone who's ever eaten ANYTHING with me, restaurant or no, knows that I have an excess of opinions when it comes to food. So don't worry, I'm sure that the very next time (maybe in like, two hours?) that I have some nonch, I'll fill y'all in on my criticisms.

One tidbit to whet your appetites (HAH. no pun originally intended):

I adore noticing the tiny places where restaurants have decided to save money...

Walking into a beautifully appointed new southern italian joint in my neighborhood, I noticed the artfully 'unfinished' brick walls, decidedly antique mahogany bar, exceptionally expensive wine list....and the paper napkins.

Why would you splurge on faux-tin ceilings, embroidered tableclothes, and monogrammed uniforms, yet not think to spend money on the one thing each and every customer is MOST ASSURED OF TOUCHING.
It's a crude analogy, but it's sort of like walking into a solid gold bathroom and discovering that they neglected to include a toilet seat.

Perhaps it's a relic of years of family picnics, but paper napkins say unfinished to me. Especially when everything else looks so, well, designed. Please note that I'm not talking here about Ma and Pa's fireside pork-grill, but the über trendy bistros that afflict the face of Toronto like a particularly bad case of acne. Every good restaurant should think their way through a typical meal, plan for contingencies, and just generally try to anticipate what a customer, though maybe not one as picky as me, might want and/or do. But a restuarant the uses paper napkins didn't think past getting them in, getting them down, and getting them ordering. So why does a meal in a resto that didn't get to thinking about the EATING part of their service just sort of give me pre-heartburn?
You tell me.

we think of pain as solitary, as individual. While shyly embarrassed, we think of pain as something we own, as our very own; grimacing, we tote it out on occasion, like the inappropriate gifts of relatives, useless trinkets which must still be kept in the interest of social grace. No one experienced childhood just like us, nobody suffered as we suffered, and if they did, they didn't do it in the same way, or rather, for the right reasons. The funny bit is that this pain, so often, is just misnamed loneliness. It's exclusion and segregation. We are individuals, gazing through misty musty glazed windows, longing for the group, just beyond the glass. So why, now, so many years later, do I ache and sigh over accounts of my youth, authored by somebody else? Shouldn't I feel relieved, empowered to understand that I played out a clockwork drama, well-oiled, if a bit rusty, that ran in the forties, the eighties, three times yesterday and again and again, countless times tomorrow? I re-read an old piece of mine that I wrote years and years ago, and one bit highlighted itself in my mind: "When I take off my glasses, I think, somehow, that I can finally see our underlying humanity...Two legs, two arms, pitiable attempts at symmetry. When things are out of focus, they become the most clear."

....

Life continues on apace.

woot woot.


toronto till wednesday...

( Adrienne's Home Recipe for a Decadent Afternoon Following A Rainy Morning )

ahhhhh...*growls in pleasure*

My lips are puckered pockets
that taste of aluminum and tobacco
with a sandpaper tongue licking at the ocean
and the ocean is god
tonight
I've been pulling on my adam's ribs again
wishing that I hadn't wished you wished you were here
instead of there where
all the while she's dreaming
of the way you'll say goodnight
while my mouth replays the way your mouth moves
to say goodbye.


************
EDITED TO ADD:

Ala sent me this link to a Johari window...mapping out her personality characteristics...
The interesting thing was that people picked about 50% of the words she'd chosen to describe herself, and most had pretty high agreement on those words.
However, the really interesting thing, is that everybody also had high agreement on words Ala HAD NOT picked to describe herself...Interesting, interesting...this sort of thing being right up my alley....go ahead and try your luck with mine...

I think that I'm probably the only person in the world who looks up at falling snowflakes
...and sees dandelions.

( and hundred other things you didn't care if you knew about me )

we all have secrets...


and winter is coming.

Hokay, SO...

Instead of calling the boy (that I urgently desire to speak to) I have to decided to sit at home and (finally?) post my BC pics...I have alot, so lot's of lj-cuts to follow...for those who don't wish to see the WHOLE play-by-play. NOTE: Some artful re-arranging of time might have occured in the interests of, well, INTEREST!

( First Stop. Dorval. A.K.A. Pierre Elliott Trudeau. )

Arriving in Vancouver, we hitch a ride with some fellow 'green collegiates'
(which is this crazy COMMUNE - fuck residence, my love, it's a COMMUNE - where Jess spends her snores)
and the next step is finding some food!

( unfortunately...food in Vancouver is...ummm...rather expensive )

In attempt to work off our hearty meal, we decide

( to do some longboarding )

( and hit the beach )

(  and then catch the AQUABUS (yes, the aquabus) into town )

and lastly, but not least-ly, exhausted from our exertions...
( we collapsed at the corner of Richards and Homer )

( and let the people in white coats take us away... )

soooooo...I've got alot of pics to post from BC...but fuck if I've got the energy.

Laterz, I promise (cross my heart).


life sucks. (well, a little bit anyway).

*********

EDITED TO ADD:

My "Sexual Function and Dysfunction" prof caught me after class yesterday and thanked me for all of my, quote unquote, "amazing contributions to class discussions". Apprarently, I always come at the info from a "new" and "interesting" way...and she "really hoped that everybody else noticed and paid attention to what I said, because SHE really DID"...HAH....Take THAT!

...SO just days before I left for B.C., I was told by someone I...ummmm...trust?...that I was really in his mind, an "east-coast" person.

Obviously haven't been here long enough to pass my own judgment on that yet. But I'll keep you posted.


In terms of the travelling so far: I made two very revelatory discoveries about myself. Firstly, that it's been over 5 years since my last plane trip (long before that september nonsense) and I hadn't the faintest idea about checking myself in and all that garbage (did you know that they've done the self-service thing in airports too now?). And secondly, that I have never, in fact, seen the Pacific ocean! Why that isn't something I knew about myself before - I can't tell you. Oh. And I guess a third discovery..apparently 'revelatory' isn't a word - opinions on that?

************

I already miss being alone. I really haven't had to share my space with anyone in so long - I think I've forgotten how to make sacrifices. We'll see.

***********

The air smells like autumn on this side of Canada. And I really like that.

so, okay. The film house has just acquired these totally gorgeous new G5s, the ones with the built-in webcams?

ummmmmm....long story short...A little photoshoot might have occurred.


( here's the results )

I dream of a field of epiphanies,
where forget-me-nots tickle my cheeks.

Where I weave a chain of optimism
and crown us kings and queens.

Where swallows drink from
streams of thought
of varying obsessions.

Where wild grow the faithful


and careless grow the weeds.

I like sleeping. *laughs*.

It's so refreshing to wake up refreshed. Opening my eyes, I can see the sunny shadows, and I feel grrrrreat. I have been going over some of my old posts and decided that they aren't accurate portrayals. We only write when we're feeling unhappy, wistful or sick. What about when we're actually feeling fine? I'm ridden with acne-like angst. I think I've always misunderstood emotion. Like if I don't make them suffer, then it's not real. That's so stupid. So what if you didn't make an impact? Maybe it's because you actually made them feel comfortable/happy. Shouldn't that be enough? I've given you the gift of not having to think about me. I'm not grateful when I'm writing...happiness lacks eloquence. I want to live in those moments that I left behind without poetry.

okay so - read the subject header...I know it's a little late...but still funny...

Dear Santa... Dear Santa, This year I've been busy! In November I set givenscissors's puppy on fire (-66 points). Last Wednesday I committed genocide... Sorry about that, energy_miser (-5000 points). In February I bought porn for ridemycamel (-10 points). Last week I stole esizzle's purse (-30 points). In March I gave qallunaaq a Dutch Oven (-10 points). Overall, I've been naughty (-5116 points). For Christmas I deserve a spanking! Sincerely, adrienne

Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:

my hands still smell like your skin.





and best line ever: "you're startlingly intelligent, and you use it in interesting ways".







EDITED TO ADD: I'm actually glad you're acting this way - makes me remember the reality of the situation. I usually get so upset when people I respect don't live up to my (note: impossibly high) expectations...But in this particular case, I've realised that if they don't, then I don't have to keep respecting them......hah. Maybe I'm growing. I actually feel good about this.

EDITED EDITED TO ADD: Okay...so now you're being amazing again...gagh....argh....grumble...brains, BRAINS! gack.